Australian Adventure

Episode 8

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...in which our intrepid hero finds himself so stuffed with chocolate cake he can hardly think, nnnnngh...

Well, well, well, end of the Christmas term, and all that. The halls are decked with boughs of holly, the turkey's in the oven and the geese are getting fat, metaphorically speaking, i.e. we don't have a hallway, and the boughs of holly look distinctly like gold and silver tinsel. But tasteful, naturally...

In truly festive mode, I'm attired in a bermuda shirt which is fairly outrageous even by my standards, shorts and thongs, have just returned from the (third) work Xmas Meal (excellent steak) and, lest there should be an opportunity for my digestive system to recover, have just eaten a whopping great piece of chocolate cake as celebration/commiseration of the departure of one of the guys in the office.

Just as the candles were being lit, the sky darkened dramatically and we were entertained by a thunderstorm the likes of which I have never seen, and I've spent enough time on Dartmoor to have seen a few. Slate grey sky, almost continuous forked lightning flashes, and raindrops the size of golfballs. Geoff the Australian (part-time meteorologist and all-round tall-chap (but more tall than round)) told me before I came down here that Sydney and Vancouver had about the same annual rainfall, but that Sydney got the whole lot in a fifteen minute burst, one Tuesday afternoon in January. This summer it was a month early.

It was so fierce that our Tandem (virtually uncrashable computer for all you non-tekkies) was forced to swap processors four times !! In the computer world that counts as big excitement, let me tell you. The important thing was that it didn't crash though, and that's why you pay half a million dollars and put up with possibly the least friendly operating system ever devised by man.

This week was the week where right thinking people (me 'n' Eve) took up arms and repelled the evil hordes beseiging our apartment. This was the week where truth and justice triumphed over low-life scum and drove it out into the cold wastes. Yep, this was the week we stopped the ant invasion!

Apartment blocks in Sydney are apparently renowned for insect infestations, and although ours was fine for the first month, over the weekend we found an orderly line of marching ants leading from the balcony door to a plant on our bookshelf. Quick as a flash were were on it with the ant-juice. After some tentative sniffing on day one they soon got in there with all their trotters (or whatever ants have instead) and by morning the whole lot was gone. Our bookshelf was party-central for the local ant population.

Not wanting to take anything for granted we put out some cockroach traps too. These look like little WW2 bunkers that the evil brown ones walk through, carrying the nasty stuff back to the nests, where they die and turn to cockroach dust. Or something.

We drew the line at rat traps. They don't seem to be able to climb to the 8th floor...

Tomorrow at 7am Eve and I are off to Adelaide, for a rare Kirch family reunion. We're staying with her parents up in the hills to the north for a couple of days, then coming down into the wine region for a couple before cruising into Adelaide itself for Xmas day. Boxing day we're off to see my dad in Kalgoorlie, then over to Perth to see Eve's friend Angie for New Years Eve. Finally we plop back into Sydney ready to start work on the 5th. And have a rest, I don't doubt.

Should be a hoot. I'll fill you in when we return. And just for your information, Eve's parents live in the driest state of the driest country on earth (with the possible exception of Antarctica) and it makes Sydney look pretty chilly. Eve may have to take off one of her sweaters...

Karl's wife Tam arrives from Vancouver moments after we depart, so he has kindly offered to meet us at our place at 5.30 tomorrow morning and take us to the airport. Karl (for those of you who like to keep tracks of the big-man) is currently resting in the conference room, claiming that the effects of a large lunch, beer, chocolate cake and a run down to the shops in 30 degree rain have taken their toll. I'm sure that the fact that he hasn't seen Tam for seven weeks, and the excitement of her imminent arrival is having no effect at all...

The phrase "pulsating bag of hormones" has been heard in the office. It may have been me who said it though...

Merry Christmas to everyone, and ... er, ho ho ho.