OK, I confess. Ever since I can remember I've had a fascination for cars. When I was
very young it was just the wheels that I liked to watch, but as I got older my
curiosity expanded to cover the entire machine. Old cars, new cars, luxurious and
bargain basement - I'm intrigued by them all.
First, and account of all the cars in my life to date. The first few belonged to
my mum and dad when I was young, and most of the others are the ones I've owned
over the years.
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Renault Dauphine Gordini
One of my early memories is of my dad hand-painting the Renault bright orange.
It was so hot that the paint was drying as fast as he could get it out of the tin.
We were living in Gibraltar at the time, and since the border
with Spain was closed there were very few roads on which to drive. The Renault
was quite happy on level roads, but I have a hazy memory of abandoning it on
a day trip up some of the steep roads that led up the side of the Rock. Having
walked up the Rock in recent years, I know just how it felt.
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Hillman Hunter - 1969
It was in this car that I began to develop an interest in driving. When
mum and dad left us in the car to run into a shop, either my sister or I
would pretend to be the driver. It was in this car that I discovered the
connection between speed and the accelerator pedal, learned exactly when
to upshift based on engine noise, and exactly what the coloured lights on
the dashboard meant. The blue one was my favorite.
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Opel Ascona Berlina - 1976
This car coincided with what my ten-year-old brain saw as high-living.
It looked cool, had sporty front fog-lamps, a cassette player and seats that
were covered in luxurious velour and not sticky plastic. We travelled the
length and breadth of Germany in it, during which I developed my current
love-hate relationship with Barry Manilow and (wait for it) country and
western music...
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Rover 2600 - 1979
This was dad's car, the first of two Rover SD1's that he would own. Large by
UK standards, fast and comfortable, it nevertheless rusted at an unnerving rate,
and came complete with the legendary quality assurance that only British Leyland
could offer. Notable were the "crotch-cooling air vent" placed below the steering
wheel (which was, incidentally, shaped like a round-cornered square), and the dashboard
which resembled a large black rubber brick resting on a shelf. I loved it.
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Citroen D Special - 1972
This car is the odd one out here because it didn't belong to either myself
or to my parents. It belonged to a teacher at school, and has the distinction
of being the car that I first learned to drive in. From the hi-tech hydro-pneumatic
suspension to the rear indicators mounted on the trailing edge of the roof,
everything about this car was avante-garde. Years ahead of it's time, this one
was far more comfortable and fun to drive than the 1987 Peugeot in which I took
my driving test.
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Fiat 127 1050CL - 1979
Ahh, the first car that I ever owned. Bought for the fine sum of £100 from my
mum (pictured here in yellow), at which time it was chugging away on fully three of its four cylinders. I kept
it for about nine months during which time it drank more oil than petrol, and rusted
with an alacrity only matched by dad's Rover SD1. On the plus side, I could get
everything I owned into the back of it with room to spare. We speculated that the "CL"
stood for "comparative luxury", since it had a heater, and an interior light.
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Opel Kadett LS - 1980
I acquired this car in early 1989, when I was a student. I use the word "acquired"
deliberately, since despite my finest intentions, I really only made a couple of
payments towards the loan mum took out to cover it. Bigger than the Fiat (by this
time I was gathering more possessions) it served me well for three years, before
failing its MOT and going to the great car dealership in the sky.
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Audi 80 Turbodiesel - 1985
Audi 80 1.8 - 1986
My two-car Audi adventure. The 80's were wonderful - solid, cheap, pretty fast,
with plenty of room and a huge trunk. Unfortunately the first one had a diesel
engine that was on it's last legs, and smoked wildly at anything above quarter
throttle. I flogged it quick and bought the petrol engined 1.8, one of my
smarter car purchases. Shame that I wasn't smart enough to realize it at the time,
before laying out more than I could afford on the Mazda.
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Mazda 626 GLX - 1989
Gadgets. And a sexy shape. That's what attracted me to the 626. A pity that
it was more expensive than I could really afford. It had electric everything,
cruise control, sunroof, alloys, a vast trunk, and it was... AUTOMATIC. A trip
to Canada had seen me fall in love with auto-boxes, and I had to have one. And
to serve me right it was the one major component of this car that failed in
a spectacular and costly way. Months of garage trips, motorway breakdowns and
grief, and it was all fixed, at which point I wrote it off by driving it into
the back of a stationary Land Rover. A disaster.
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Nissan 200SX - 1991
Fast. Alarmingly, exhilaratingly, wonderfully fast. A dream to drive, and just
about the only car I've ever owned that had a driving position that fitted me.
Also way more expensive than I could afford (again). Of course the experience
was somewhat spoiled by the guy who drove into the back of it on the M4 on the
day I bought it, and by the ensuing damage to the exhaust system and turbo-charger.
It spent 12 of the 20 weeks I owned it in the garage, while I drove a loaned Nissan
Micra, which just wasn't the same. And I'd just got it back when I got the job
offer in Canada, and sold it at a loss. A disaster (again).
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Pontiac Sunfire GT - 1997
A success! I bought it on arriving in Canada, not knowing about the somewhat
appalling reputation of General Motors cars. To my complete surprise it was
excellent. Maybe a little rough around the edges when it comes to refinement, but
for less than the cost of an Italian sub-mini in the UK I got a reasonable rip-off
of a Fiat Coupe, with 150 ponies, a CD player and air conditioning. And it's all
mine. Don't think I've ever been able to say that about any car I've owned since
the Fiat 127.
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Mazda MX6 Mystere - 1994
Well, OK then, this was Eve's car, but she let me drive it whenever I wanted.
Similar to the Pontiac, but with all the refinement that my
car lacked. And leather, and two extra cylinders, and 15 more ponies.
And a sunroof, and electric seats, and divine handling, and sex appeal, and a
resale value. In short, all the things I'd expect from a car chosen by Eve.
The deal was that we'd sell the Pontiac, I got to drive the Mazda, and Eve got
to drive the Subaru.
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Subaru Outback - 1999
Our first jointly owned car! You'll note that it seems a bit sensible and
practical compared to the previous few - that's what happens when you have a dog
and the need for a child seat. People used to groan when I said that we'd bought a station
wagon, but when they heard that it was a Subaru they'd brighten up and say "Oh, I'd like
one of them" - image is everything I guess. It really was very good indeed...
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Mitsubishi Magna - 2000
Another country, another car. Another nice sensible wagon,
(much more popular in Australia than in Canada)
with a not-so-sensible 3.5 litre engine pumping out 149 kilowatts which is the same
as, um, quite a lot of horsepower. And in a shade of green that evades concise description.
The paint shop reckoned it was 'macaw' as in parrot. Other people have suggested
'spearmint', but I think I prefer 'grasshopper'. Nice and big, nice and fast, I like it
a lot.
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Hyundai Getz - 2004
Alright, so this is a bit of a departure from the recent pattern of cars getting
bigger and faster. This one is about as small and cheap as a car can get - and
it's great. Huge inside, tiny on the outside, handles like a motorised roller skate.
Ludicrously frugal with fuel, funky interior (including take-away hook), and a freaky
levered wiper that does a mid-wipe lunge to get into the corners. Just in case you were
in any doubt about its street credibility (or at least the power of marketing), that
particular shade is "Hip-Hop Red"!
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