My Cars

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OK, I confess. Ever since I can remember I've had a fascination for cars. When I was very young it was just the wheels that I liked to watch, but as I got older my curiosity expanded to cover the entire machine. Old cars, new cars, luxurious and bargain basement - I'm intrigued by them all.

First, and account of all the cars in my life to date. The first few belonged to my mum and dad when I was young, and most of the others are the ones I've owned over the years.

Renault Dauphine Gordini

One of my early memories is of my dad hand-painting the Renault bright orange. It was so hot that the paint was drying as fast as he could get it out of the tin. We were living in Gibraltar at the time, and since the border with Spain was closed there were very few roads on which to drive. The Renault was quite happy on level roads, but I have a hazy memory of abandoning it on a day trip up some of the steep roads that led up the side of the Rock. Having walked up the Rock in recent years, I know just how it felt.

Hillman Hunter - 1969

It was in this car that I began to develop an interest in driving. When mum and dad left us in the car to run into a shop, either my sister or I would pretend to be the driver. It was in this car that I discovered the connection between speed and the accelerator pedal, learned exactly when to upshift based on engine noise, and exactly what the coloured lights on the dashboard meant. The blue one was my favorite.

Opel Ascona Berlina - 1976

This car coincided with what my ten-year-old brain saw as high-living. It looked cool, had sporty front fog-lamps, a cassette player and seats that were covered in luxurious velour and not sticky plastic. We travelled the length and breadth of Germany in it, during which I developed my current love-hate relationship with Barry Manilow and (wait for it) country and western music...

Rover 2600 - 1979

This was dad's car, the first of two Rover SD1's that he would own. Large by UK standards, fast and comfortable, it nevertheless rusted at an unnerving rate, and came complete with the legendary quality assurance that only British Leyland could offer. Notable were the "crotch-cooling air vent" placed below the steering wheel (which was, incidentally, shaped like a round-cornered square), and the dashboard which resembled a large black rubber brick resting on a shelf. I loved it.

Citroen D Special - 1972

This car is the odd one out here because it didn't belong to either myself or to my parents. It belonged to a teacher at school, and has the distinction of being the car that I first learned to drive in. From the hi-tech hydro-pneumatic suspension to the rear indicators mounted on the trailing edge of the roof, everything about this car was avante-garde. Years ahead of it's time, this one was far more comfortable and fun to drive than the 1987 Peugeot in which I took my driving test.

Fiat 127 1050CL - 1979

Ahh, the first car that I ever owned. Bought for the fine sum of £100 from my mum (pictured here in yellow), at which time it was chugging away on fully three of its four cylinders. I kept it for about nine months during which time it drank more oil than petrol, and rusted with an alacrity only matched by dad's Rover SD1. On the plus side, I could get everything I owned into the back of it with room to spare. We speculated that the "CL" stood for "comparative luxury", since it had a heater, and an interior light.

Opel Kadett LS - 1980

I acquired this car in early 1989, when I was a student. I use the word "acquired" deliberately, since despite my finest intentions, I really only made a couple of payments towards the loan mum took out to cover it. Bigger than the Fiat (by this time I was gathering more possessions) it served me well for three years, before failing its MOT and going to the great car dealership in the sky.

Audi 80 Turbodiesel - 1985

Audi 80 1.8 - 1986

My two-car Audi adventure. The 80's were wonderful - solid, cheap, pretty fast, with plenty of room and a huge trunk. Unfortunately the first one had a diesel engine that was on it's last legs, and smoked wildly at anything above quarter throttle. I flogged it quick and bought the petrol engined 1.8, one of my smarter car purchases. Shame that I wasn't smart enough to realize it at the time, before laying out more than I could afford on the Mazda.

Mazda 626 GLX - 1989

Gadgets. And a sexy shape. That's what attracted me to the 626. A pity that it was more expensive than I could really afford. It had electric everything, cruise control, sunroof, alloys, a vast trunk, and it was... AUTOMATIC. A trip to Canada had seen me fall in love with auto-boxes, and I had to have one. And to serve me right it was the one major component of this car that failed in a spectacular and costly way. Months of garage trips, motorway breakdowns and grief, and it was all fixed, at which point I wrote it off by driving it into the back of a stationary Land Rover. A disaster.

Nissan 200SX - 1991

Fast. Alarmingly, exhilaratingly, wonderfully fast. A dream to drive, and just about the only car I've ever owned that had a driving position that fitted me. Also way more expensive than I could afford (again). Of course the experience was somewhat spoiled by the guy who drove into the back of it on the M4 on the day I bought it, and by the ensuing damage to the exhaust system and turbo-charger. It spent 12 of the 20 weeks I owned it in the garage, while I drove a loaned Nissan Micra, which just wasn't the same. And I'd just got it back when I got the job offer in Canada, and sold it at a loss. A disaster (again).

Pontiac Sunfire GT - 1997

A success! I bought it on arriving in Canada, not knowing about the somewhat appalling reputation of General Motors cars. To my complete surprise it was excellent. Maybe a little rough around the edges when it comes to refinement, but for less than the cost of an Italian sub-mini in the UK I got a reasonable rip-off of a Fiat Coupe, with 150 ponies, a CD player and air conditioning. And it's all mine. Don't think I've ever been able to say that about any car I've owned since the Fiat 127.

Mazda MX6 Mystere - 1994

Well, OK then, this was Eve's car, but she let me drive it whenever I wanted. Similar to the Pontiac, but with all the refinement that my car lacked. And leather, and two extra cylinders, and 15 more ponies. And a sunroof, and electric seats, and divine handling, and sex appeal, and a resale value. In short, all the things I'd expect from a car chosen by Eve. The deal was that we'd sell the Pontiac, I got to drive the Mazda, and Eve got to drive the Subaru.

Subaru Outback - 1999

Our first jointly owned car! You'll note that it seems a bit sensible and practical compared to the previous few - that's what happens when you have a dog and the need for a child seat. People used to groan when I said that we'd bought a station wagon, but when they heard that it was a Subaru they'd brighten up and say "Oh, I'd like one of them" - image is everything I guess. It really was very good indeed...

Mitsubishi Magna - 2000

Another country, another car. Another nice sensible wagon, (much more popular in Australia than in Canada) with a not-so-sensible 3.5 litre engine pumping out 149 kilowatts which is the same as, um, quite a lot of horsepower. And in a shade of green that evades concise description. The paint shop reckoned it was 'macaw' as in parrot. Other people have suggested 'spearmint', but I think I prefer 'grasshopper'. Nice and big, nice and fast, I like it a lot.

Hyundai Getz - 2004

Alright, so this is a bit of a departure from the recent pattern of cars getting bigger and faster. This one is about as small and cheap as a car can get - and it's great. Huge inside, tiny on the outside, handles like a motorised roller skate. Ludicrously frugal with fuel, funky interior (including take-away hook), and a freaky levered wiper that does a mid-wipe lunge to get into the corners. Just in case you were in any doubt about its street credibility (or at least the power of marketing), that particular shade is "Hip-Hop Red"!